Fighting Homophobia and why Love is Love

When you hold me in the street

And you hugged me on the dance floor

I wish it could be like that

Why can't it be like that?

Cause I'm yours

Why can't it be like that?

- JADE AND JADE

“I have no hesitation in accepting that I too belong to the majority of commoners who are yet to comprehend homosexuality completely. Ignorance is no justification for normalizing any form of discrimination. Therefore, I took upon myself, the vested responsibility and the duty to deliver justice in all its forms and spirit, of cutting across personal prejudices and notions and setting forth to, at the least, educate myself lest my ignorance interfere with in guiding homosexuality and the LGBTQIA+ community towards social justice,” --- said Justice Anand Venkatesh, a Madras High court judge as he delivered a remarkable judgement on a case, where two lesbian women had sort safety from their families after coming out as same sex couples.

The Judgement was all over the media and was hailed by many as progressive and welcoming. Reading Justice Venkatesh's judgment, got me thinking of my views of the LGBTQ+ community in the past, and how far I have come to understand and unlearn certain prejudices that I held against LGBTQ+ previously.

June month is celebrated as #Pridemonth, where colorful parades are taken across the world remembering the Stonewall riots of 1969, which paved the way of gay rights movement in the US. And there is no better month to reflect on how homophobia hurts us all , and you do not have to be a lesbian ,gay, bi or queer or know someone who is - to be negatively affected by homophobia.

September 2018 was the year. The Supreme court was scheduled to deliver its verdict on abolition of IPC sec 377, which criminalized Homosexuality, meaning any two consensual same sex individuals could be sent to jail for 'consensual sexual activity'. In India, that was the year, where there was intense debates on Gender Identities. The familiarization of who these LGBTQ+ community were, was visible in media at large.

I remember reading as many articles and listening to many debates, where people wrote and argued for repealing IPC Sec 377. May be, that was my first encounter with the subject of queer community. But strangely I didn't have an opinion of my own. I remember not having a point of view on the issue, and also asking myself if I was a 'homophobic'.

Heterosexuals attitude towards same sex couples are something that's not talked about in the larger public discourse. Most of the conversations and writings either come from the members of the queer community themselves or the so called experts. And I assume, the taboo amongst Indian families and other social circles, not having a decent discussion about the community, largely lies in the fact of OVERSEXUALISATION of the queer community.

At least in India, we often find how the word HOMO is a binary for nasty homophobic jokes both in movies and regular conversations, we all giggled at some point, to the now famous or not so famous line - Avana nee? அவனா நீ? used to taunt the trans community or at those who didn't confirm our heterosexual traits.

If I have to go back to the frame of mind I carried in the past and look at it to gauge my prejudices against the queer community, I see how I were conditioned in assuming that lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals are only sexual beings rather than complex people who just like straight men and women, fall in love, dream and yearn for intimacy. And also assuming that a lesbian, gay man, or bisexual is probably interested in you sexually, regardless of your sexual orientation is the giant elephant in the room that needs to be addressed and taken off the prejudiced head.

It is strange how you or I don't care what our friends or individuals in social circle do in the privacy of their bedrooms, there is so much to an individual to be loved or hated. But feeling disgust, uncomfortable and criticizing LGBT individuals for "making an issue" of their sexuality and solely forming an opinion of the person based on his/her sexual orientation is nothing short than bullying and oppression.

Members of LGBTQ+ community are most likely to experience a mental health condition such as major depression or anxiety disorder mainly because of labeling homosexuality as a problem. Our Ignorance and failure to unlearn the prejudices and stereotypes that are dumped on us, unquestioned and untouched from generations needs to be addressed. Homo sexuality is not a disease to be cured. No individual should be put through pain and struggle for his/her choice of consensual Physical Intimacy. No religious groups or government should make their business to oppress these individuals.

And there is hope, when Justice Anand Venkatesh, decided to attended counselling sessions with a panel of experts to understand the issues faced by the LGBTQIA+ and their emotions to gain clarity before he could give the judgment is heart warming. Reassuring the on lookers that every passing moment is a chance to set aside ones pre conceptions and prejudice and just listen to those who are unlike you.

Ignorance is no justification of Discrimination.

LOVE IS LOVE..

They'll come around sooner or later,

so let me shout it for the whole world

oh, love is love is love is love ..

love is love song by leann Rimes

One cannot ignore the role ART has played in our lives by sensitizing and normalizing LOVE between same sex couples. Though Indian cinema has misguided the portrayal of LGBT in the past, there is an increasing trend of support and solidarity amongst the filmmakers and artist in recent times. Cinema and Tv shows have largely influenced me in accepting inclusivity.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire, was an extraordinary movie about a forbidden romance between two women in late 18th century. The film is refined in its telling of the commonplace oppressions of women historically and to this day. It also proves that queer love has no defining time nor presence in the world. Two men or Two women falling in love is not a doing of modern society. They have always been there.

TV show SHAMELESS features two most adorable Gay men - Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich ,who are exceedingly in love with each other. The couples journey through 10 seasons of the show, skewed my idea of romance and Love. Watching these fictional characters coming out the closet and being proud of who they are normalizes Homosexuality in the minds of its audience. It makes you want to believe that any two men or two women in love is nothing to be ashamed of, and the emotions involved is very much normal and similar to that of any heterosexual couples.

In the end, its important to recognize and appreciate all those men and women who fought for the rights of the queer community, the right to love, the right to choose, the right to just be.. Two lawyers Menaka Guruswamy & Arundhati Katju, the face of historic Section 377 verdict, revealed they're a couple. And today if I'm able to see these women merely as a couple, living under the same roof, beyond the hesitancy of their gender, than thanks to all those who pushed us to question, listen, wrote relentlessly and spoke words that invoked new thoughts and thinking.

The lines from the song Love is love - They will come around sooner or later is a calling to anyone who fought homophobia.

By challenging homophobia, we are not only fighting oppression for specific groups of people, but are striving for a society that accepts and celebrates the differences in all of us.

Happy #pridemonth